This is me and my husband Cliff. Why do I need a caregiver? I have a mental illness, that’s why. More specifically, I have bipolar depression. My moods change frequently (although thanks to medication, not drastically), which means I change my mind about things, sometime I cancel plans at the last minute because I am not up to it. Other times I withdraw to my room just because I would rather be alone. Living with me is no picnic. I am not like this all the time, not even half the time, but still, I am challenging and my dear husband is an anchor to my rocking ship. But who takes care of him?
Well, sometimes, oftentimes, I am well enough to take care of him and I do. But still, sometimes when I look at him if I am having a bad day, I feel bad for him as he silently and patiently endures my changing moods with never a complaint or a criticism. This man is not perfect, no one is. He is not a perfect husband, there is no such thing. And he has been forced into the role of caregiver, he did not volunteer. And yet he sort of did. He could have chosen not to be a helper. But he is a smart man, and he knows that it behooves him to be careful of me. If I do better then he does better.
But still, who cares for him? Well, he does, sometimes. He doesn’t have any hobbies besides watching sports and reading. But one thing he enjoys is going out to breakfast! He takes a book along with him. He enjoys going alone, reading his book, and taking time with his coffee. This is a happy time for him and rejuvenating. I encourage him to do this. But he is a lucky caregiver because I don’t need him all the time. But he is always ‘on call’.
What about you? At my age, I see friends my age taking care of their spouses. I see friends in their older years helping out with their grandkids. These friends are in their declining years and yet they are caregivers. I see young mothers give up their needs for their families all this to the point of exhaustion and sometimes frustration. They do it out of love and duty, and yet, there is a price to be paid.
And so if you are a caregiver today, I would like to encourage you! First of all, permit yourself to take care of yourself (if you can squeeze it in). Take a break, short or long. Breaks are important.
If you have a friend who is a caregiver, who cannot leave the person in their care, maybe you could give them a break. Caregivers need care too. Pray for them. Pray with them.
But ultimately, and always, the most powerful thing that can help us is God. I googled ‘he cares for you’ and found some wonderful scriptures for caregivers. Scripture helps me. Maybe it will help you too.
God sees what you are doing and it matters to him.
Matthew 25:40
“Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did it for Me.”
Looking up can help lift you out of your burden of duty.
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Good will come from your caregiving.
Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
May God bless you today if you are a caregiver. May he give you a break and a rest. May he encourage you and give you hope. May he send you a caregiver of your own when you need one.
